What Selling Our Cattle Taught Me About Rock Bottom — and Rising
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“I’m gonna sell the cows.”
I still remember where I was standing when my husband said those words. October 2022. And I still remember the tangle of feelings that hit me all at once — disbelief, relief, and then a wash of guilt for feeling relieved at all.
Because I had wished for this. More times than I’d ever admit out loud.
The nights I was alone again because the cows needed something. The plans that fell apart because of a calving emergency. The stack of feed bills I’d sit and stare at, doing math that never quite worked out. I had wished for the cows to be gone, and now they were going — and somehow that didn’t feel like winning.
We bought those cows to build something. To come home to the farm. To create income that would let us stay on the land we loved. And we did love them. Both of us did.
But love doesn’t fix a broken budget.
The Plan We Made
We decided to keep 40–50 of our Corrientes for the direct-to-consumer beef business and let the rest go. Scale back. Simplify. Run a leaner drylot operation, cut the feed bill, and free up space for custom fed groups.
“This will fix several of our problems,” he said.
I didn’t argue. I knew what the books looked like. I knew what feed costs were doing. Selling was the right move — the responsible move — even when it hurt.
So we restructured. We eliminated. We told ourselves we were fixing the foundation so we could build again someday.
What we didn’t know yet was that October 2022 wasn’t rock bottom.
It was just the first crack showing through the wall.
What Came Next
By October of 2023, we were staring down bankruptcy — not just for the cattle operation, but for the row crop farm too. Everything we’d built, everything we’d tried to save, everything we’d sacrificed family dinners and sleep and peace of mind for… it was slipping through our fingers faster than we could hold on.
January 2024, the last of the cows were gone. The equipment was listed for sale. And I was interviewing for jobs in town just to keep us afloat. The life we had worked so hard to build was being disassembled piece by piece.
I’m not going to dress that up or put a tidy bow on it, because that’s not what you need from me. You need the truth.
The truth is: we had been handed a shaky foundation and kept trying to build higher instead of stopping to fix what was underneath. We diversified. We expanded. We worked harder. We borrowed against the hope that next year would be better.
And when a foundation is crumbling, you can only build so high before everything comes down.
What I Know Now That I Didn’t Know Then
I used to think that selling the cows was the pivot point. The hard decision that would set things right.
But looking back, I can see that it was one step in a much longer, much harder walk. And if I’m being honest with you — the kind of honest that only comes after you’ve been through the fire — I wish someone had told me a few things sooner.
I wish someone had told me that scaling back isn’t failure. It’s wisdom.
I wish someone had told me that you can make all the right moves and still face bankruptcy. And that bankruptcy isn’t the end of your story, just a chapter you didn’t plan on writing.
I wish someone had told me that the guilt of feeling relieved when something hard goes away doesn’t make you a bad wife, a bad farmer, or a bad steward. It makes you human.
And I wish someone had told me that when the foundation finally does crumble all the way down — when you’re standing in the rubble of what you built — that’s not a sign that you weren’t meant for this life. Sometimes it’s the very thing that teaches you how to build something that actually lasts.
If You’re in a Season Like This
Maybe you’re where I was in October 2022 — making hard decisions, scaling back, telling yourself this restructure will fix things. I hope it does. I genuinely do.
But if you’re in October 2023 — if you’re watching the cracks spread faster than you can patch them, wondering if the whole thing is about to give way — I want you to know you’re not alone. And I want you to know there is life on the other side of the hard thing.
We’re rebuilding now. Slowly. On purpose. With a much clearer eye for what a solid foundation actually looks like.
And that’s exactly why I do the work I do — helping rural women and farm wives build marketing and business foundations that don’t crumble under pressure. Because I’ve lived what happens when the foundation isn’t solid. And I don’t want that for you.
If any of this feels familiar — if you’re in a season of hard decisions and you need a place where people actually get it — come join us.
I have a free Facebook group for farm wives and rural women who are figuring out how to keep going when the foundation shakes. No hustle talk. No girl boss energy. Just real women, real stories, and a whole lot of grace for the hard seasons.
Have you ever had to scale back something you loved to save something bigger? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
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