Yes, you need other people to be self-sufficient. You don’t need someone living next door, but every homestead eventually needs extra hands in a hard season, someone to do chores while you’re away, and advice on a problem you’ve never faced. Build that support before you need it, whether it’s nearby neighbors, friends at a distance, or a community you stay in touch with by phone or online.
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The idea is appealing. A piece of land, a full pantry, animals in the pasture, and nobody to answer to. Just you and your family, living off what you raise.
So do you need other people to homestead?
Short answer: yes and no.
No, you don’t need someone living right next door. Yes, you need people. Self-sufficient was never supposed to mean alone.
What a Good Neighbor Is Worth
Good neighbors close by are a real help when you live miles from the nearest town.
You can keep an eye on each other’s places when one of you is gone. And you will be gone at some point. Nobody stays home forever.
You can also help each other fast. Like when the animals are out at 10 p.m. and standing on the neighbor’s lawn. Or when a predator is working on both of your properties and it takes both of you to deal with it.
The flip side is true too. A neighbor who doesn’t like animals, doesn’t understand livestock, and has no interest in helping can be a massive headache.
If you’re looking at properties, take the existing neighbors into account. The people next door come with the land.
When Your People Live Farther Away
Maybe you don’t have close neighbors. Maybe the ones you have aren’t the helping kind.
You can still have people. Friends and neighbors at a distance will still help when you need it. They just can’t be there in five minutes when the cows are out.
Even if you choose to live miles from any other human, you will need someone eventually:
- Life takes you through a hard season, and you need extra hands on your place.
- You take a vacation, and somebody has to care for everything while you’re gone.
- You run into a challenge you’ve never had before, and you need advice from someone who has.
That support can be in person, by phone, or online. What matters is that it’s in place before the day you need it.
The Year I Found Out What Community Is For
Here’s the part nobody talks about when they talk about self-sufficiency. The help you need most may have nothing to do with fences or chores.
Years ago, several young couples had started attending our church. One of those couples wanted to get to know the others better, so five couples began meeting. Game nights first, then Bible study.
It took about a year of showing up before we were comfortable enough to be vulnerable with each other.
In the winter of 2015, none of us knew how much we were going to need each other in the year ahead.
It started with one tearful night. The conversation turned to pregnancy, and to the frustration of people always asking “WHEN?” Hearts were laid open, and the women in that room bonded.
Over the next year, every one of those couples had a child. There were also three miscarriages and one very scary NICU stay.
After each loss, those women leaned into each other. They prayed together, supported each other, loved each other, and kept pointing each other back to God. They celebrated every pregnancy and every birth. They prayed hard and showed up through that NICU stay.
2016 and 2017 were some of the most emotionally difficult years of my life. Did I grow? Oh yes. But not on my own. Without those women, I would have crumbled.
They became my people. Over the years we’ve learned homesteading and homemaking skills together and raised our kids side by side.
And when our life fell apart and we filed bankruptcy, those dear friends were still there with us.
We still lean on each other, pray for each other, fight FOR each other, and do life together.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says two are better than one, because if one falls, the other can lift them up. Each of us has been the one who needed lifting, in different seasons.
How to Find Your People
That group didn’t happen by accident, and it didn’t happen fast. Here’s what it took.
- Get out and meet people. Find groups built around what you care about and get to know the people in them. Church is a good place to start. So is Facebook. Search for a hobby or interest and you’ll find women living the same kind of life you are.
- Keep showing up. Once you find people you understand, and who understand you, keep meeting with them. Start doing life together. Pray for each other. Ask how each other is really doing.
- Don’t hide. Be vulnerable. Ask the hard questions, and answer them too. It took our group a year to get there. Give it time.
If praying with other people feels like a big first step, start at your own table. We’ve used Not Consumed for our family devotionals for a few years. We do it after breakfast. It usually takes 10 minutes, sometimes less if someone spills milk.
Build It Before You Need It
You don’t plant a windbreak the week the blizzard hits. Community works the same way.
The women who carried me through my hardest years were people I had already spent a year getting to know over game nights and Bible study. The relationships were there before the storm was.
So start now. Wave at the neighbor. Join the group. Show up to the thing.
However self-sufficient you become, you will still need people. God designed us to need each other, and a full pantry doesn’t change that.
If you’re looking for a place to start, come join us in Thriving Through Farm Life: Wife’s Support Network, my free Facebook group for farm wives. Pull up a chair.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you be self-sufficient and still depend on other people?
Yes. Self-sufficiency means providing more of what your family needs from your own land and skills. It doesn’t remove the need for neighbors, friends, and good advice. Every homestead eventually needs extra hands, someone to do chores while you’re away, or someone who has already solved the problem you’re facing.
What if I don’t have good neighbors nearby?
Build your support at a distance. Friends and family who live farther away can still step in when you need them, and a phone call or an online group can get you advice the same day. They may not arrive in five minutes when the cows are out, but they still count.
How long does it take to build real community?
Longer than you’d like. Our small group met for about a year before we were comfortable being vulnerable with each other. Keep showing up, keep asking how people are really doing, and let it grow.
As I’ve grown as an entrepreneur, mom, gardener, and livestock owner, I struggled to find a planner that met my needs and kept me organized. So, I MADE MY OWN. You can look at it on the link below and buy it on Amazon.
Don’t want the whole calendar part? I got you! I pulled the gardening and animal care pages out and put them in a book all their own.