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Six years ago, we took over my husband’s family farm to save it from liquidation.
Six years of scraping by. Six years of choosing between groceries and farm expenses. Six years of lying awake wondering if we’d made the biggest mistake of our lives.
In 2024, we finally filed Chapter 12 bankruptcy. We took the year off from farming to sort through the wreckage and figure out what came next. This year, we started fresh—launching our own ag trenching and welding business, building my marketing agency, and helping my dad on the side.
I’m telling you this upfront because if you’re here, you need to know: I’ve been in the deep end. I know what it feels like when the farm you’re fighting for is pulling your family under.
And I know that particular kind of lonely that comes with it.
Not the romantic, wistful kind. The bone-tired, “am I the only one drowning here?” kind.
The Isolation Nobody Warns You About
When we took over the farm, nobody mentioned how isolating it would be. Sure, they warned us about the debt, the long hours, the unpredictable weather. But nobody told me I’d spend years feeling like I was failing at something everyone was counting on me to save.
Nobody told me that watching your husband’s family legacy slip through your fingers—despite your best efforts—would make me want to hide from the world.
Farm life—especially when you’re fighting to keep everything afloat—has a way of shrinking your world down to just your property line. And when that fight ends differently than you planned? The isolation gets even heavier.
Your friends from before? They can’t relate to bankruptcy or commodity prices or the shame of “giving up” (even though you didn’t—you pivoted). Your family? Some understand. Some think you should’ve tried harder. Even other farm wives sometimes seem to have it more together than you do.
And in that isolation, the enemy gets loud. You failed. You’re not enough. Everyone else makes it work.
But here’s what I’ve learned through six years of scraping by and one massive pivot: you can’t grow anything good in soil that’s cut off from nutrients.
Not crops. Not hope. Not the strength to start again.
Why Struggling Farm Families Need More Than Bootstraps
I used to think I could tough it out alone. After all, that’s what we do, right? We’re farm wives. We’re strong. We handle things.
Except I wasn’t handling it. I was drowning—and taking my marriage and mental health down with me.
The turning point came when we finally filed bankruptcy and I had to face the fact that all my striving hadn’t been enough. I needed help—not just with farm tasks, but with the emotional and spiritual weight of feeling like I’d failed everyone.
I needed people who understood that “just pray about it” wasn’t dismissive advice when it came from someone who’d also prayed while signing bankruptcy papers. Who’d also had to tell their kids we were starting over. Who’d also wondered if God was punishing them or redirecting them.
Looking for struggling farm family resources isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
The same way you’d call the vet when a cow’s sick or ask the extension office about soil tests, reaching out for support when your family is struggling is just good stewardship. Whether you’re fighting to save your farm or figuring out what comes after.
Where do you find that support? Not everyone in your life will understand. Some will judge. Some will offer advice that doesn’t fit your reality.
That’s okay—because you don’t need everyone. You just need your people.
What Real Support Looks Like (And Where to Find It)
Real support for farm wives isn’t someone showing up with a casserole once (though that’s nice). It’s having people who:
Get the whole picture. They know why you can’t just “hire help” or “take a day off.” They understand that farm finances are different. That your marriage is under stress that looks nothing like your suburban sister’s challenges. That your kids are learning resilience—but you worry if they’re learning deprivation instead.
Can speak life and truth. You need women who’ll pray with you when the bank calls, but also help you think through actual solutions. Who’ll remind you that God’s provision is real while also helping you look at your budget with clear eyes.
Won’t judge your mess. Whether that’s your actual messy house, your messy feelings, or your messy financial situation. You need space to be honest without shame.
So where do you find these women?
Start Where You Are
Look for farm wife support groups in your area first. Check with:
- Your local church (especially rural congregations)
- County extension offices
- Feed stores and farm co-ops (seriously—post a note on the bulletin board)
- 4-H and FFA parent groups
Sometimes the best support is the neighbor three miles down the road who you’ve waved to but never actually talked to. She might be drowning too—and both of you could use a friend.
Go Online When Local Isn’t an Option
I know, I know. One more thing online when you’re already overwhelmed?
But here’s the thing: when you’re geographically isolated, farm wife support groups online can be a lifeline. They’re there at 5 AM when you can’t sleep because you’re worried about bills. They’re there at 10 PM when you finally sit down and need to vent to someone who gets it.
The key is finding the right community—one that’s not just pretty pictures of farmhouse kitchens, but real women in real struggles finding real solutions.
Why I Started Thriving Through Farm Life
After six years of fighting to save a farm we ultimately couldn’t save, after bankruptcy, after starting over—I created something I desperately needed during those dark months: a space specifically for women like us.
Not a place to pretend everything’s fine. Not a place to compete over who has it harder. Not a place where you have to hide your bankruptcy filing or your pivot or your messy, complicated farm reality.
A place to breathe. To be honest. To find both prayer and practical help—whether you’re fighting to save your farm or figuring out what comes next.
Join Thriving Through Farm Life on Facebook
It’s free. It’s private. And it’s full of women who understand that “thriving” doesn’t mean perfect—it means you’re still standing, still fighting, still believing God has something good for your family and farm.
Inside, you’ll find:
- Women who pray for each other’s specific struggles—whether you’re fighting to save your farm or navigating what comes after
- Practical tips on budgeting, farm management, bankruptcy navigation, and pivoting with grace
- Encouragement when you feel like giving up (or when you’ve already had to pivot and need hope for the next chapter)
- Celebration when small wins happen (because every win counts, no matter what stage you’re in)
- Resources for struggling farm families that actually help in real-life situations
You’re Not Meant to Carry This Alone
Here’s what I wish someone had told me six years ago:
The weight you’re carrying? It was never meant for one person.
Not because you’re weak. But because God designed us to need each other. Even Jesus sent the disciples out in pairs.
When we filed bankruptcy, when we took that year off to sort things out, when we made the decision to start our own ag trenching and welding business and marketing agency instead of continuing with my husband’s family farm—it was the women in my corner who kept me standing. The ones who prayed. The ones who reminded me that changing course isn’t the same as failing. The ones who’d been through their own hard pivots and came out the other side still believing God was good.
You don’t need a huge support system. You just need a real one.
Start small. Reach out to one person this week—whether that’s someone local or joining our Facebook group. Take one small step toward connection.
Because here’s the truth: when you’re connected to other women who understand, who pray, who share both burdens and solutions—everything shifts.
The challenges don’t disappear. Your farm might not be saved. But you stop facing it alone.
And friend, that changes everything.
Your Next Step
If you’re reading this and thinking “yes, this is exactly what I need,” don’t wait.
Click here to join Thriving Through Farm Life
Request to join, answer the simple questions (so we keep it a safe space), and you’re in.
I can’t promise your problems will vanish overnight. But I can promise you’ll find women who understand—and that’s where hope begins.
You’re not alone, friend. And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.
Let’s face it together.
Looking for more support? Check out [other resources for struggling farm families] and [simple budgeting tips that actually work for farm life].
As I’ve grown as an entrepreneur, mom, gardener, and livestock owner, I struggled to find a planner that met my needs and kept me organized. So, I MADE MY OWN. You can look at it on the link below and buy it on Amazon.
Look inside the 2025 Planner 2026 is very similar
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