My Path to Finding Redemption in Birth

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It was January 2016, I was pregnant for the first time. It was earlier than anticipated, and I wasn’t ready for it. God and I wrestled back and forth for weeks before I finally surrendered to Him and was beginning to become excited about this new life. One week later, I lost that baby. I beat myself up rolling through everything I had done in the past 2 months that might have somehow affected my ability to carry that child. I was hurting, anxious, and confused. There had to be a reason why! But no one had an answer. I had just started to dabble in natural methods and began to look for ways to heal emotionally and help the next pregnancy stick. My doctor was not interested in helping to find answers until we had been trying unsuccessfully for a year or more.

Soon after I was pregnant again! I was physically ready, but emotionally so unsure and afraid of losing this baby. I used the tools I had learned to help my body support the pregnancy, and my mind from spinning out of control with what ifs. That baby turned into a healthy baby girl, strong willed from the start. But the last trimester of her pregnancy was far from great. I was easily dehydrated, peed all the time, and ended with preeclampsia and an emergency c-section. Not the pregnancy or birth I envisioned.

It took over a year of me searching for the right help and healing before I was physically no longer in pain from that birth. Then another few months wrestling with God, on how to finish the healing process. How can You redeem and fix something like that? We finally came to the agreement that He knew better than I and could see the big picture. I prayed “God when You know I am ready, open my womb. Until then keep it closed.” He answered, with the pregnancy of our boy that fall. The difference between the two pregnancies was stark from the go. My girl’s pregnancy was riddled with anxiety and doubts. My boy’s pregnancy was filled with peace and grace. The end was still far from easy, PUPPS rash, but God healed and redeemed my little girl’s birth through my son’s.

During that time of healing, I did a lot of learning and researching. I learned how to listen to my body, and how to build it up. I learned to advocate for myself and my kids. I learned to pray, research, and find all possibilities for every decision. I learned to do the best I can with the knowledge I have, and to give myself grace and forgiveness for when I didn’t know. I learned to keep digging until I have the real answer, not just the symptom.

I love teaching others what I have learned the hard way. Every momma needs some help right? Everyone should be thriving, not just surviving. I love helping others find a different way to their answers, and thriving.

Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.

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