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Life brings us to crossroads, where we have to make hard decisions. One of those such decisions, we (my husband and I) had to make was where to give birth to our son. Our daughter's birth did not end the way either of us expected, and left me traumatized never wanting to be pregnant again. After much healing, God blessed us with another child. Now where were we going to receive care from?
We prayed a lot. I found out I was pregnant right during harvest. Wanting to do this journey and decision making together, we waited until harvest was over before we started interviewing providers. I was very much opposed to hospital birth. Just taking my daughter to the clinic for well checks raised my blood pressure and put me on edge. How was I supposed to give birth in that environment? You need to relax for birth to happen naturally!
We interviewed a couple different midwives, one independent and one in a birth center. I researched and came up with pages of questions for them, everything from what is required during visits, to what would be required during birth, to treatment if anything was declined, and their personal statistics (interventions, success rates, etc.). I also searched the internet to find background and reviews on each potential midwife before we even scheduled a consultation. Prior to the interviews we decided we would not make any decisions that day. We would take the answers home, talk about them, pray then decide where was best.
At the end of the interviews I wanted one midwife, my husband wanted the other. The birth center would provide me care, but I would have to give birth in a hospital, due to physician policy. We decided to tour where we would be giving birth. One choice was easy to tour: home. The other, we had to schedule the appointment. Unfortunately my husband could not go with me on the tour.
I prayed very specifically for a good week or more before, that God would give me clear answers. I prayed for complete peace if this was where we were supposed to be, or a complete anxiety attack if it was not. I wanted clear answers, so there was no doubt in my mind.
I made it through a good part of the tour, but as we got further and further into the labor rooms, the more anxious I got. My daughter became my focus to keep me out of a complete attack. As soon as the tour was done we b-lined it out of there as fast as I could. Trying to get a coat on a 2 year old was hard, getting across the parking garage and into the car was harder. I was quickly losing it. I got my daughter buckled in, got in myself, and locked the door. I could finally let go. I was staking so bad I could barely dial my husband and talk. I sobbed into the phone, shaking,
“I can’t do this.”
“It it OK, you tried. I wish I could come through the phone and hold you. Breath with me.”
He calmed me down and I oiled up. We had our answer very clearly. I had only had one other mild attack prior to that event. I believe that attack was solely for the purpose that I would know what it was for this decision. God is faithful.
And that was how it was determined we would give birth at home. A decision I do not regret in the slightest, as it brought about a redeeming birth.
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What is the biggest mistake in pregnancy? This is a loaded question, whose answer will change depending on who you talk to and their experiences. From my experience and research, three of the biggest mistakes come in the form of poor nutrition, medication, and mindset.
Poor nutrition is not just a calorie imbalance, it is an imbalance or deficiency in vitamins and minerals. Proper nutrition can prevent so many complications in pregnancy especially. I’ve talked quite a bit on this before, so I’ll let you check it out here, instead of me repeating myself.
Medicine. Hear me out here, do NOT stop taking a medication your doctor has prescribed without first consulting them and researching. That said, unneeded medicine, that is recommended or prescribed as a blanket policy (like a baby aspirin a day), can hide a lot of imbalances. Medications work by forcing action in the body chemically.
I have come to the conclusion that supporting the body and giving it what it needs to correct the imbalance itself. The body naturally wants to maintain homeostasis, or balance. The body is incredibly beautiful in that it can heal itself if given what it needs, soon enough. Living this way also requires more digging than just taking a pill. It requires digging down to the core problem to find the real reason for the imbalance.
Finally mindset. This is a loaded one to, and one that I will be completely up front and honest. I AM STILL WORKING ON IT. Mindset has huge affects on our overall wellbeing and health. Our mind is another fascinating topic, for another day. In pregnancy, our society has so many stereotypes that we willingly buy into: Pregnancy is supposed to be uncomfortable and birth painful. That is not necessarily so.
Your mindset on how you view pregnancy and birth, starting with something as simple as your words, can change how you view the potential challenges in pregnancy and birth. For example, take the work contraction. Sounds painful right? What about rush? Now which one makes the picture you want during birth: The contractions were intense but manageable, or the rushes were intense but manageable? Changing the word contraction to rush, makes birth less scary.
What are some other words you can change in your language that will change your mindset on pregnancy and birth?
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What is a personal routine you have? Routines change over the course of time and life. As your life changes, you have to change your routine with the new circumstances.
My routine before children was much different than it was when I am pregnant, which is different than it was with one child, or two children. Life demands that you change. You have to adapt or you break. One of my favorite lines came from a training for camp counselors: “Blessed are the Flexible for they shall not break.”
So what is one of my routines? I am going to share with you my personal supplement routine, as that one is the most consistent. First I am a terrible pill/supplement taker. If I can drink it, or apply, or eat it, I am much more likely to stick with it.
Much of my supplements come in the form of essential oils, they fall into the apply or drink category. I have selected my routine based on imbalances I tend to have in my body: My digestive and toxin elimination systems.
First, Ningxia Red. So many things to say about this one, it is loaded with vitamins and minerals and antioxidants. It is a powerhouse of nutrition in a 2 ounce drink. I like to mix mine with a little Lemon Vitality essential oil or Grapefruit Vitality essential oil, and some Lacroix for an afternoon ‘soda’. Both my kids beg for this drink as well.
At night, I apply Digize essential oil over my intestines. Why? Because I tend to swing from constipation to diarrhea very quickly, even when I am eating clean and avoiding my food sensitivities. Digize helps to keep my system regular and my colon eliminating the build up. I also apply Endoflex essential oil over my liver at night. Why? Endoflex helps to support liver function (your primary detoxer) and hormone balance.
Remember when I said I had imbalances in my toxin removal/digestive systems? If the colon is not removing the toxins from the body (ie. pooping), those toxins your liver worked so hard to get rid of are reabsorbed. This is why I focus on supporting both of these systems as they work so closely together.
Also in my nightly lineup is Progessence Plus. This is a serum that helps to boost progesterone levels in the body. It comes from wild yam extract. This is one that I stop using in the second trimester of pregnancy. Why? By then the placenta is producing enough progesterone an additional progesterone boost is not usually needed.
As far as actual supplements (pill form)? I regularly (not usually every day, as I forget) is Super B, to boost my vitamin B levels. Essentialzyme, to help break down and digest food. Dr. Berg’s Gallbladder formula, because I don’t have a gallbladder which greatly affects my ability to digest some foods and break down potential allergies.
Others that I use regularly? Harmony essential oil. Not really sure how this one works honestly, but I have found if I apply it over my uterus my mood stays so much more balanced over the day. Clary Sage/ Lady Sclareol/ Sclaressence essential oils. These I use only during certain times in my cycle, when I tend to be a little dry and need an estrogen boost to get in the mood. Caution! Use extreme caution with these three when you are pregnant. All three of these are estrogen booster, which can bring on labor if your body is close.
Tell me about your routine! Have questions? Ask me!
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Overcoming fear is hard, but it is even harder when there is a traumatic experience involved. When that trauma is from an experience that is supposed to be a joyful experience, like birth? How do you even start? Where do you turn? Who do you even talk to?
Birth trauma is not just physical trauma that happens to baby or momma, it can also be emotional or psychological. With my daughter, people just didn’t get it. In their eyes, from the outside, the doctors acted and saved both my daughter and myself from potential death. So, why was I so irritated, fearful, adamant that I was never getting pregnant again? What they didn’t see or understand was the complete lack of control or say about anything that happened to me or my baby when I checked into the hospital.
Birth is supposed to be an intimate event, with mom participating, but when all say is taken away mom and sometimes dad is left as a spectator. When those events turn into an unexpected or consented surgery, it can leave deep emotional and physical scars. How are you supposed to begin to process and recover from that? How do you conquer the fear of future births?
One step at a time. I did not realize how much of an issue I had until I was almost a year postpartum, still in physical pain and emotional avoidance. I found an OT specializing in C-section pelvic care, and started the physical work that led to uncovering the emotional scars that also needed healed. I journaled, I read books on emotional trauma, and I used essential oils. Slowly I learned to heal my body from the inside out, with food and mindset.
In birth, you cannot overcome the fear of a future birth, without dealing with the past trauma. A wise midwife told me as I was healing, if you don’t deal with the emotions around the birth as they come to surface, they will come back up during your next birth and will affect it. So I learned to tune in and listen to my own body. Working through the emotions as they came up, and releasing them. Your body holds emotions in the cells if they are buried.
Overcoming the fear of birth itself is the final step. For me the only way to finish healing, was to become pregnant and give birth again. This time however, I walked each step consulting and trusting God for His guidance. I surrounded myself with people who were loving and supportive for birth. People who had confidence that my body could birth my baby naturally. I interviewed providers, prayed about them and found the one that matched. Prepared myself for birth by reading books on birth and the birth process. I made a loose plan. Honestly after my first plan completely fell apart, I was hesitant to make any plan for fear it would also fall apart. But I knew what I wanted and needed, my midwife and I had conversations on those desires.
Ultimately the time for my son’s birth came. Labor started slow and easy, but gained intensity and my son was born at home, surrounded by love and support. It was truly a redemptive experience, and God showed me once again His sovereignty, love and grace.
For more on healing from birth trauma follow the link to my course
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/recovery-from-traumatic-birth
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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What is the biggest challenge in pregnancy? The weight gain? The mental games? The issues with body image? While all of those can be issues, they were in mine, it is not the biggest challenge. The biggest challenge for almost any pregnancy boils down to proper nutrition. Yep, that is it. Nutrition.
In the standard American diet (SAD) today, proper nutrition is really difficult to come by. Our food tends to be highly processed and void of key vitamins, minerals, and enzymes. Eating healthy takes on a very intentional lifestyle choice. When you are pregnant, that choice is even more difficult, but more important.
Quick easy to fill carbs are abundant and cheap, but protein, fresh fruits and vegetables are not. During pregnancy, your body needs extra protein. All the cells and DNA your baby is forming, requires amino acids, which comes from protein. Your body needs protein to build your own blood supply as your baby needs more blood. The vitamin and minerals from food are the most readily absorbed form for you to ingest. These are needed to help your body continue to function, stay healthy, and clear debris that builds up in your own system.
Eating a proper diet during pregnancy can also help prevent other complications like preeclampsia, PUPPS, gestational diabetes, and strengthen the uterus, reducing the risk of hemorrhaging. There are many other conditions a proper diet can prevent as well, I just haven't needed to look further yet.
So what can you do? No matter where you are, you can start choosing to eat healthy. I highly recommend sticking as close to a whole food diet as possible. This cuts many of the quick easy, but highly processed meals out. Sorry, Hamburger Helper. But the benefits quickly outweigh the convenience.
What are some good guidelines? The Brewer’s diet is huge and you can look up more on their website here. The simplified version I have made as a quick and easy to print off guide for you. It does come from their website, but saves you trying to print and format it for your fridge. You can get that guide for FREE here.
What diet changes are you making? Are you already following the Brewer’s Diet? How is it going? Let me know!
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Have you ever read a book and thought ‘why have more people not read this!’? That was my thoughts when I read Ina May Gaskin’s book Guide to Childbirth.
Ina May founded the Farm Midwifery Center in 1971. She learned the art of midwifery the traditional way, but watching and attending births (direct entry midwifery). She is now one of the most famous midwives in America, lecturing students and doctors on traditional midwifery practices and maneuvers.
Her book, Guide to Childbirth, lays out what she has learned through 40 plus years of attending women and over 1200 births. She lays out the natural way birth is supposed to work and ways to work with and listen to your body to help birth along.
I love this book and am in the process of re-reading it because it is so good and I need to soak up the information again. The first half of the book is filled with birth stories, helping to take the fear out of birth. The second half outlines the labor process, with an appendix in the back highlighting a few studies and movements.
What I like most about Ina May is her ability to use natural methods in letting labor happen. She has seen the effect of interventions, and how quickly birth can turn south. She has also seen how beautiful birth is and how empowering it is for a woman when she is allowed to labor as she needs to, instead of laboring a specific way because she is required to.
Not only does she lay her years of experience out, but she has the science to back her up. Her years of experience have shown her what the women’s body is designed to do naturally. Slowly more and more studies are being published to support what many of the older midwives have always known. Most of the time, birth is best left alone.
Who is an author that has made you go wow?
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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If you would talk to most birth professionals, especially if you live in the state of Nebraska or Arkansas, they will tell you it is a risky thing and needs to be handled in a hospital. The truth is most of the time birth is safe and natural. Yes there are risks. Yes things can go wrong, but for the majority of women, birth is a low risk, natural process.
Many times when we start messing with the natural process that is when we see issues. We see this a lot in animals. If you will allow me to use them as an example. Animals go where they feel comfortable and safe. They know that they are at their most vulnerable point during birth and they find a place they can be safe. If that spot is disrupted, by say a predator or human, oftentimes the birth process will stall or halt all together.
Why do we think as humans we are so different when it comes to the birth process? There are so many parts to birth and each step triggers the next. Even professionals don’t completely understand the hormonal intricacies of the process and how all the loops work together. We know the baby communicates with the mother’s body as to what is needed and when something is too much, but we don’t completely understand how that all works.
What we do know is that if one step is disrupted, the others compensate. In the medical setting when outside forces are injected into the process to force things along, we start to see issues. There is no natural feedback loop telling the machine to lower the dose, ease up, and the baby needs more time. This is where things can become dicey and external monitoring is needed.
It wasn’t until the mid 20th century that birth became a hospital procedure. Prior to that midwives attended the mothers in the comfort of their own homes and assisted if needed. In the 20th century the introduction of narcotics and anesthesia during birth were introduced, and thus birth moved to the hospital.
What happens if instead a mother does what an animal would do? Instead of going to the hospital where there are unfamiliar noises, disruptions, monitoring, what if she stayed home? Like women did many years ago? Chances are most births would be just fine. Labor would progress as it should and everything would be much more peaceful. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad there are hospitals near for the incase emergencies that do happen. But truth be told, that should be the hospitals roll. Emergency life saving care, not necessarily the normal uncomplicated birth.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Get the Naturally Healthy Birth Course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/naturally-healthy-birth
Get the Healing from Birth Trauma Course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/recovery-from-traumatic-birth
Get the preventing Preeclampsia course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/preventing-preeclampsia
This post may contain affiliate links, which means that I may receive a commission if you make a purchase using these links, with NO additional cost to you.
My first birth I went the traditional Nebraskan route. I had an OBGYN, was induced, had an emergency C-section. When I decided I wanted a different route for my second, I was told I could only birth in the hospital, because of my past C-section. Not even considering the cause or why I was induced in the first place (boiled down to poor eating habits that I didn’t know any better until later).
Hospital birth was not an option for me. Just going through a tour of the Labor and Delivery ward set me into an anxiety attack (I had only had 1 other attack in my 26 years on this earth). The only birth center in Nebraska wouldn’t accept me. So what did I do? I defied the doctors and birthed at home. I was fortunate to find a lay midwife who was willing to help me and I am glad she was there. She was wise enough to let me be, but knew when she needed to step in and help.
Unfortunately many women are not that lucky. It is becoming more difficult to find midwives willing to risk their career, and sometimes lives, to help women birth at home. Leaving many women with the option of hospital, or going solo at home. The argument is always birth is safer in the hospitals! But the date really shows otherwise (that's a topic for another day). Why are women not able to choose who and how they give birth?
Much of it revolves around policy, laws, and unfortunately the dollar. When birth moved to the hospital in the 20th century, it did not take long for hospital boards to realize how much money can be made in birth. As of December 2019, the Business Insider found that the average cost to have a child in the United states was $10,808 without complications during delivery. If you factor in the care provided before and after, it can increase to $30,000. No wonder hospital boards want women in the hospital care system for birth! They have enough pressure and pull between them and insurance companies to sway the political politics governing health care, and birth workers.
So what can you do? Look up the laws in your state. In Nebraska, home birth itself is not illegal. Having a certified medical practitioner there is. Talk to you state representatives, tell them how you feel and bring them data on how birth is safe at home.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Get the Naturally Healthy Birth Course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/naturally-healthy-birth
Get the Healing from Birth Trauma Course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/recovery-from-traumatic-birth
Get the preventing Preeclampsia course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/preventing-preeclampsia
This post may contain affiliate links, which means that I may receive a commission if you make a purchase using these links, with NO additional cost to you.
My first pregnancy I went with the flow. After having a miscarriage shortly before, I wanted to make sure this one was healthy. I trusted my doctor and did whatever she advised not thinking to question her opinion or ask questions. I went with a local doctor that was close, because that’s what you do, right?
I should have done a lot more research and asked more questions. Had I done that, I would have had a completely different experience. However, I would not be the person I am today, nor have been on my unique healing journey.
That first birth set me on a path of self-advocacy and learning about the depths of healing. It taught me how interconnected the physical and emotional body is.
My next pregnancy, I was ready and made sure I knew the questions to ask and how to advocate for myself. I wanted the healthiest, natural pregnancy and birth possible. This time I dug in and figured out the questions. I figured out what I needed to do to keep myself healthy. I poured over books and studies looking for the most practical advice and useful tips.
The best part I created a course just for you. So you don’t have to do the research. As a busy mom I know time is short and valuable so I’m here to help make your life easier. This quick course will give you the tools you need to have a naturally healthy pregnancy, labor, and delivery.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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