Goodbye Cows
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“I’m gonna sell the cows.”
I couldn’t believe my ears he loved the cows. We bought the cows, to help us build income. They made a way for us to come home to the farm. But at the same time, I had some relief and then guilt because of all the times in the past three years I’ve wished, for the cows to be gone. Usually on the nights I was alone again, or times plans changed because of the cows, and I was on my own again. Or I was staring at a stack of cow bills wondering how they were going to be paid.
I really did love the cows and knew he did too. So why sell now?
“We’ll keep 40-50 of the Corrientes’s but let everybody else go. That will give us enough to keep the beef business and they’ll be able to run on the small pasture. Maybe after harvest we’ll get some stockers. This will fix several of our problems.”
I couldn’t argue. I knew what the books look like, and I knew what feed costs were. As much as neither one of us wanted this. It was the best option to get in a better spot financially. 
We have been handed a shaky foundation and were trying to fix it by building bigger and more diverse, covering our needs, and bringing in more income. But only to find ourselves spinning our wheels, out of time and money, and burnt out. 
So here we are. Most of the cows will be gone by the end of the month. We’re restructuring, eliminating, and rebuilding a sturdy foundation. We’re simplifying our operation to better accommodate the labor we have. 
When a foundation is crumbling, eventually you must stop building above, and fix the foundation, or the entire building will crumble. That is exactly what we are doing. We’re fixing our foundation, making it square and sturdy again. 
One day we may grow again, but only time will tell.
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