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How do you learn to trust your gut? What does trusting your gut even mean? Trusting your gut is that small voice or feeling inside that says something is right or wrong. It’s a small feeling that can easily be ignored, but when listened to, more often than not, is correct.
We have been conditioned to think logically, ignore our feelings, and listen to the professionals. Here’s the problem with that. Professionals only know the average normal of a population. They do not know what your normal or your child’s normal is.
So how do you learn to hear that small voice of intuition again? One moment at a time. I find that I have the biggest gut feelings, when a big decision is at hand. So often I have ignored the feeling that something wasn’t right, because logically and using reasoning everything made sense.
I started learning to listen to and trust my gut again, by simply listening and tuning in. Did the situation feel right? Did something seem off, even a little bit. Does something seem to be missing? Many times it is a feeling that something just doesn’t seem right. I can’t put my finger on it or explain right away, but if I step back, investigate or wait, I find the answer.
When it comes to my kids or me and seeking medical care, I tune in carefully. I press for answers, not just “it’s normal”. A good example is this spring I started bleeding abnormally. Concerned for my baby, I sought the expertise of my provider. It was recommended that I go in to be checked, because the color and amount of blood was concerning. After countless hours in the ER, baby was fine, but they weren’t sure why I was bleeding so heavily. So the next day we had follow up appointments with an OBGYN. We discussed possibilities, and had another ultrasound which revealed a large subchorionic hematoma laying fairly close to my cervix. At least we now knew what was the cause, but no one was sure why it happened in the first place. We still aren’t, though we have some suspicions.
I pushed for answers, trusting my gut, which gave us answers and a direction.
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A while back we talked about my favorite question “Why”. There is a ‘Why’ that I have not shared with you all. Why do I reach out to others? Why do I share the knowledge I have learned? Short answer. Because the world is confusing and every momma needs a hand.
No one person can learn everything. We each learn from our experiences and then learn from others experiences. If what I have learned over the years about gardening, food, allergies, home toxins, and animal care, can help the next person shorten their learning curve I will.
We are bombarded with information. We can look up anything we want on our phone in our hand. They call it the information age for a reason. But with all that information, a person can easily become confused. If you look for information, you will find it, and all sides of the topic too. All the information and opinions coming in can easily confuse a person who has the time to sort through it. What momma has time to keep the kids alive, house in order, and sort through the massive amounts of information quickly? I sure didn’t and still don’t. As a farm wife, working mom, then stay home mom, keeper of the house and business books, master of the acreage, I have never had a lot of extra time.
What I have learned has been little bits over my life, through my own experiences, pockets of time for research, and my own trial and error. I have taken what I researched, applied it, tweaked it, figured out what worked practically, and what needed to be adjusted. Depending on the stage of life I was in at the time how deep into the research I was able to dig. Many times the research was an ongoing process, or completed over the course of several years.
I want to save the next momma the time it took me and give her the jumpstart to her knowledge and an action plan. We're all busy mommas, and we all need a helping hand every now and then.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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We are in the heart of gardening season in Nebraska. Plants are up, cool seasons done, most of the weeding is done, and the fruit of the labor is starting to show. It is honestly the best time. Water the garden and pick the produce and enjoy! The early hard work of establishing plants is done and the bulk of harvest is yet to come.
I’m often asked when people see or hear about my gardens: “How do you get it all done?” The short answer, ‘Little by little.” I started small with my garden, a few simple easy to grow plants and have expanded from there. Every year my garden has grown a bit, with more plants, more variety, and more space. Along the way I learned a few things that help cut down on the amount of work over the summer.
#1 Mulch. Not just the 1-2 inches of mulch or dusting like you do when planting grass, but deep mulch. Like 4-6 inches of mulch. Why that deep? Not only does it help the moisture stay in the soil better, it blocks much of the weed growth. Will you still have to weed? Yes, but much less. Who has time to spend all day weeding anyway?
#2 Tackle small parts at a time. This one hit hard this year. I would look at everything that needed done, planted, weeded, prepped, watered, and simply become overwhelmed. Once I reminded myself to tackle small chunks at a time, it made the job more do-able and less stressful. I divide the garden into sections for planting, weeding and watering and stick with the smaller parts. I am more likely to finish one section before it gets too hot or the kids need me that way.
#3 Try one new thing at a time. This is huge for beginners. I started with a sweet corn patch my hubby planted, some pumpkins and cucumbers that took over, and maybe a tomato plant and pepper. I cannot even count how many plants I have now without walking around the gardens. Each year I added one or two varieties to try. Became good with those and added more. I also started with small patches to experiment with so space isn't wasted.
#4 Companion plant. This took me a few years to catch on to. It actually started by accident, when I couldn’t fit all my tomatoes in one spot in the garden. The results were worth repeating year after year! There was less bug damage to the overall crop when plants were mixed together. This year I took a spin on it and planted my tomatoes all in beds together, but planted basil around them. Basil tends to repel the bugs attracted to the tomatoes and I wanted more basil. It was a win-win. Check out the list of friend/foe plants I made earlier for more details.
What are some lessons you’ve learned from your hobbies that others would benefit from?
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Rules. They are there to guide us and keep us safe. Some rules help us to live life the best way possible. Some show us our shortcomings. Many people don’t like rules. That rebellious heart just wants freedom, I know I’m not alone here. Some people like me test the rules. Is that really a rule or a suggestion? Why is it even there?
Bless my mother, somehow she didn’t kill me growing up. But she did learn if she wanted me to follow a rule, I needed to know the why and that she really meant it. Guess what? My daughter is the same as me….
One rule that I have followed since growing up was what some consider the ‘Golden rule’. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
What kind of rule is this? Really it's more like a guideline to life than a rule. It is one of those rules that show us how life works best, how to interact with others well. Logically, if you want to be treated kindly, you should probably treat others with kindness as well. It is in our human nature to want to reciprocate how others make us feel.
This is also a rule that is so hard for young kids to learn. Why should I share? It’s mine! She’s in my space, so I pushed her out. He took my toy, so I hit him. Just a few examples from my house lately. At the same time it is so important to teach our kids this guideline.
Kids who grow into adults who never learned or choose not to follow the ‘Golden rule’ are ones that are bitter. They are adults, people don’t like to be around. I do not want my kids to grow up to be those adults. I want them to be kind, understanding, and a friend. As their mom it is now my job to teach them what it means to be a friend, to be kind, to be understanding. And it starts at home with their siblings.
As one of my kid’s favorite books says “to have a friend, you have to be a friend.”
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As mommas, typically we are also incharge of the food in our home. Although sometimes this is the dad’s responsibility. Cooking has generally been my job, even when I was working away from home. Part of that is being married to a farmer. He comes home when the work is done or it is dark.
One of my hardest week to week decisions is what to cook when. I have a few quick meals for when we’ve stayed outside too long, but those get old in a hurry if I don’t mix it up. So how do I mix it up and still keep everything spinning? Meal plan. Now how do you do that?
The best way I’ve found for me so far is a white board, cook books, and an inventory list (in my head usually or written), and 30 minutes. I’ve found the white board works great, because it is quick to look at and I can erase as I go or leave it there for next week if I didn’t actually make it. My meal plans are usually more like guides for the week so I have an idea what to make before everyone is hangry and we are eating rice again.
Step 1. Take inventory of what you have in the pantry, keep it in your head, or write it down on a running list.
Step 2. Grab your white board or planner (whatever to write your meals on), grocery list, cook books, and timer.
Step 3. Set your timer for 30 minutes, it's a mental game that helps to keep you focused.
Step 4. Open your cookbooks and start looking for recipes that stick out or sound good to you. Look at the ingredients. Make sure you have what you need or will be able to go to the store before you cook it. Anything you will need to buy, write on your grocery list. Write the recipe name on your meal plan with the page number.
I like to cook once and reuse it if I can. Depending on the day and recipe whether that is supper or lunch meal. I then use the leftovers to make into other food, or add together for another meal.
Simple and done for the week. The biggest help meal planning is to me is that I don’t have to think about what to cook when the time comes. I have my list and I can pull the meat the night before, so it speeds the cooking process up a bit.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Two and a half years after my daughter was born, the view of my body changed again through the birth of my son. Catch how my view had changed after my daughter’s birth here.
After almost a year and a half of healing emotionally and physically, I had a long talk with God about finishing the healing process. For me the last step was to allow God to show me I was capable. That He designed my body to grow, birth, and nurture a child. I agreed finally that I would get pregnant again, but only in His timing. He knew what I needed and when better than I.
The fall of 2018, right during the beginning of harvest, I confirmed with a test what I had suspected for a week. I was pregnant again. This time we took a slow approach, praying and asking for guidance every step and decision. That process led us to birth at home, a choice I came to love and see God’s foresight in later.
Labor started with my water breaking in the early morning hours. Jeremy took our daughter to daycare and went to feed cattle while I napped on the couch. I hadn’t slept much that night and knew there was hard work ahead. Around noon I checked in with Jeremy to see if he was at a place he could come home if needed. I was rested and ready to get things moving, so was going to jump start labor with oils, but only if he could come home.
He was able and I jump started. Rushes started to become noticable and more intense. I called my friend who was photographing for us and let my midwife know. Both were on their way. I was having immense back labor and needed pressure on my back through rushes. Jeremy filled the pool and I got in shortly after to relieve my back. I labored there most of the time because the water felt so good.
The afternoon passed and evening came. I lost all track of time, but noticed it was getting dark. Some time in there transition came, and I began to push. This big baby was slow to descend and as it turned out was not ideally positioned, so I was pushing a larger part than normal. I pushed for what seemed like forever. Several position changes, finally got out of the water, tried for the bed, couldn’t get up there. Tried a stool, and ended up sitting on the toilet, where he began to crown.
My midwife, bless her, patiently watched and waited, asking permission to check the baby's tones and never actually checking me. I didn’t want her to. She watched and waited for me to labor on my own terms, suggesting position changes only to try something different and see if it helped. When the baby started to have trouble at the end she knew the exact position I needed to be in, for him to come out. He was big and his shoulders were a little stuck.
He was born after an all day labor and snuggled into my chest right away. Had I been anywhere else I would have had another c-section, with the excuse of he was just too big and taking too long. Him taking so long allowed my body to stretch around him and not tear. God knew my son was going to take a long time to descend and that I needed the peace of home to be able to birth him on my own. WE DID IT!
My son’s birth left me feeling capable and confident in my body’s ability. It proved to me that God did not make a mistake in His design and knows exactly what we need. His birth left me feeling whole and in awe of my body, not the broken vision I had for two and a half years. It redeemed my daughter's birth as well and that was worth every bit of the long labor.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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I wish everyone who has had a traumatic birth experiences birth redemption. I do not wish anyone to have a traumatic birth, but unfortunately it happens all too frequently. This is part one of two in Blog posts.
What happens during a traumatic birth? It is not just physical trauma, it is emotional trauma that takes a hidden toll. This hidden emotional trauma leaves scars that no one can see. It can change the way a mother views herself, her body, her baby, her life. When this hidden trauma occurs, the outside world does not see what is happening. To them all seems well, everyone is alive. They don’t see the internal struggle and the life that is not thriving, but only surviving.
Before the birth of my daughter I had a view of a strong and capable woman. A little nervous and not knowing what to expect of birth, but confidant I could handle it. After all my mom did, why wouldn’t I be able to.
I left my daughter's birth feeling broken, robbed, and used. My confidence was shaken to the core. I didn’t recognize my own body, didn’t understand what happened or why. Everyone was so happy, my daughter and I were alive. They didn’t see the struggle to bond, the hurt that went way deeper than the scar. The confusion, trying to figure out what went wrong.
Her birth left me with a view that my body was broken. That it was unable to handle a pregnancy, or birth. I spent the next year in physical pain, burying the emotional pain and swearing I’d never go through that again. How? I would simply not get pregnant again.
Over that year, I started digging into improving my health. I was tired of the pain. I switched jobs, because I physically and mentally just couldn’t cowboy anymore. The pain continued. I finally found help for the physical pain. I was blessed with an occupational therapist who understood the effect emotions have on the body. She led me to the path of emotional healing. Once those two pieces met, the pain, both physical and emotional, finally started to heal.
For more on what I did to heal, get the course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/recovery-from-traumatic-birth
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Some of the best advice around birth I received during my second full term pregnancy. First, during birth, leave well enough alone. Second, after birth do nothing. Both of these go against modern thought processes. But are actually extremely helpful and good.
The first, Leave well enough alone. Why is this against the norm? Mostly because birth has become so medicalized, that we have come to believe that birth is risky and requires constant monitoring, just in case. The truth is this constant monitoring, interrupts the birth process and can lead to unnecessary interventions.
When birth is left to happen on baby and mom’s terms, they are allowed to follow their natural instinct, and communication between baby and mom’s body is uninterrupted. When interventions begin to be used, it disrupts this delicate balance. In the case of pitocin use, the natural feedback from baby signaling the contractions is too intense no longer exists. When left alone, if baby needs a break from the contractions, their body sends a hormonal message to mom’s brain and the contractions decrease.
Leaving well enough alone means, not disturbing or interrupting the laboring mother unless absolutely necessary. A train midwife can pick out when something is not quite right and can then ask to check whatever is concerning.
The second advice, do nothing post birth, is completely against society norms. We have developed a view that women are supposed to just bounce back to where they were before pregnancy. This ignores the fact that a woman's body has physically changed and rearranged in the previous 9 months. The 6-8 weeks postpartum a mothers organs are slowly moving back to pre-pregnancy position. Her body is also healing from the stress and tissue damage birth caused.
The complete advice was 1 week of bed and baby snuggles, except bathrooming. This allows the mother to rest, her body to heal, and bonding with the baby. Week 2 was to take place around the bed, in other words more time up, but not leaving the sacred space of the bedroom. Week 3 was around the house, but not leaving the nest.
Did I follow this exactly? No. I was still in do it myself mode. I did well the first week, but then quickly wanted to resume summer activities. I paid for it a bit in that it took my stretched and weak pelvis longer to heal than it should have. This time? I fully intend to follow that advice and rest until I feel the energy shift in my body, signaling it's time to resume activity.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Tough question, but one most of us will face at some point. Something we loved doing must be put on hold for a time, sometimes known, sometimes unknown. Hobbies or passions are held or altered for different reasons: life circumstance, health, finances.
When this happens there usually is a process of grieving. You deny that you really have to give that hobby up and find ways to still include it. Then you have feelings of anger or frustration that you just can’t make the hobby work. You might try bargaining for time, money, health, to get just a bit more of that passion. Then you fall into a bit of a depression as you long to do what you used to love. Finally you accept that maybe one day you will be able to do your passion again.
Feeling like my passions are being taken away has happened to me recently. I am a strong willed, independent, woman. I love riding horses, and being in my gardens. With the addition of each child my time riding has decreased, but I am ok with that as I still have them and have continued to care for them. My garden has increased as our family has increased, filling much of my used to be riding time, because it is something else I enjoy and the kids can do it with me.
Late this winter however, I saw both of these hobbies start to be limited and felt them being taken away. I had started bleeding heavily during pregnancy and found I had a large subchorionic hematoma. I was put on activity and weight restrictions of 10 pounds, until the bleeding stopped. This made it impossible to feed hay to my horses, help my kids ride, or start yard prep for the garden. At first I was ok, ‘it’ll only be a couple weeks, then I can resume’ (denial). But the two weeks turned into a month and still no end in sight. In total I bled 7 weeks. Even after it was done, I was still advised to keep the lifting light and limit activity so nothing would reinjure.
I was angry. Angry there was no clear reason or answer to why. Angry I couldn’t take care of my portion of the chores, upset I was having to rely on everyone else to feed hay, get feed, pour the feed into the cans, and do the heavy lifting in the gardens.
I then went through a bit of depression as I realized all the things I might not be able to do this summer. Planting was going to be difficult, weeding, mulching. Planting the bushes was out of the question. Clean up in the wind break was on hold. My plants I started suffered, as I didn’t care for them like they needed.
Only recently have I been able to accept that I will not return to full normal activity until months after delivery. That has been helped by being surrounded by friends and family that are willing and able to step in and help, with the chores I cannot do (thank you to my husband, who does the bulk now with his own cattle chores). Friends who come out and help with the big garden days (Nicole and Andrew) and get the digging, mulching, weeding done.
Is it still hard? Yes. I want to do so much and don’t like relying on others to have to help me all the time. I have accepted that some things just won’t happen this year, but there is next year. I also know this is not forever and one day I’ll be back to full speed. But that buggy horse is sounding really good right now….
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Many people are seeking better health, but where do you start? What is the best way to improve your overall health and energy? Simple answer, the food you eat. The complex answer, eating your nutrients from food sources that your body can easily digest and absorb. How do you even start!?! Let me guide you through three simple and easy steps.
First, eliminate the processed food as much as you can from your diet. Processed foods are void of many essential vitamins and minerals your body needs. They are also heavy with preservatives which are difficult for your body to break down and eliminate.
How do you eliminate the processed foods? Shop the outside of the grocery aisles more than the inside. The outside aisles are primarily the fresh and frozen foods. When you do shop the inner aisles, look for simple ingredients. Packages with 5 or less familiar ingredients, and no dyes. If you come across an ingredient you are unfamiliar with, google it.
Second, eliminate refined sugars. Yes that means the cookies. It is ok to have an occasional treat, but sugar feeds inflammation and yeast in your body. By eliminating sugars for a few months, you will starve the yeast and allow your good gut bacteria to repopulate and better digest your food.
How do you know if you have an overgrowth of yeast? An overgrowth of yeast in your mouth, called thrush, shows up as white, bumpy patches on the tongue, inner cheeks, gums, tonsils or throat. You maybe extremely tired and crave sugar/carbs. Recurring urinary or genital infections is another symptom. You could have digestive issues, such as constipation, diarrhea, nausea, gas, cramps and bloating. This is caused by the bacteria imbalance in your gut. Chronic sinus infections that don’t get better with antibiotics or last longer than one month, is another sign. Fungal infections on the skin and nails, such as athlete's foot, ringworm, toenail fungus, rash in warm moist areas, such as the armpits and groin. Yeast overgrowth also causes inflammation in the body, which can lead to joint pain and decreased immune system function.
Third, eat more vegetables. Fresh is best, but frozen works, canned is the next option. Canned is not as good, because some of the nutrients are lost, during the high processing temperatures. Fresh is preferred because these vitamins and minerals are left intact and not denatured. They also are more likely to have active enzymes to help break them down during digestion.
How do I afford more vegetables?!?! Not everyone can grow a huge garden with vegetables for the year. However, everyone can look for the sales. Buy fresh when you can. Farmers market season is coming soon. Visit one and buy fresh. If someone is willing to do a bulk deal take them up on it. Bring it home and freeze what you won't eat in time. Watch local grocery store ads. Fresh and frozen vegetables go on sale occasionally. Stock up when they do. A freezer is an investment, but pays for itself quickly when you can buy large quantities and keep them on hand.
Have more questions on improving your health? Contact me and let's chat!
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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