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What was the first job you had? Was it a job that helped shape your views?
One of the first ‘jobs’ I had growing up was helping in the lambing barn. After all, I had convinced my dad to keep the ewes, so it was now part of my responsibility to help with the extra work and rewards of breeding them.
We would split lambing checks, with mom and dad doing them during the day, while we were at school, my sisters and I doing them after school and in the evening. I would then do the early 6 am check before school. I was the morning bird and enjoyed the quiet of the barn in the morning. I was also usually late for Spanish class once those checks started. Sorry, Ms. Hofts.
Those years of caring for the ewes taught me a lot about life. The natural cycle of life and death happens readily with sheep. And it is a hard lesson to learn, but one that brings understanding to the rest of life. But it also taught me that life and birth and death is natural. So many times we try to step in and adjust life to make things more convenient for us. But many times all we do is interfere and nature adjusts. The best example of this I can remember was with one of my first ewes (mom sheep).
It was chore time that afternoon, and one of my ewes already had one lamb almost born. We picked up the lamb and led the ewe into the maternity ward, where she would have her own pen to bond with her lamb. I continued to watch her as it finished chores around the barn. I knew she was carrying more than one lamb, but she refused to settle down and have it. Eventually we all left the barn and went back up to the house, deciding to go back in an hour and check her. In that hour she settled down and had another lamb. I made sure it got up and nursed well, and returned to the house. The next check she had another lamb! She ended up with 4 lambs that night, but every time we were in the barn, she would act as if nothing was going on and shut labor down. She needed her space and time.
The biggest lesson I learned in the lambing barn was when to step in and help and when to just leave the ewe alone. 95% of the time the ewes had the lambs just fine on their own. As long as none of the other ewes were bothering them or it wasn’t super cold, they did quite well in the pen until the lamb was up and had nursed. Then they could be moved to their ‘private room’. The other 5% of the time was the critical ones, where the ewe just wasn’t going to have the lamb on her own. Either the lamb was positioned wrong, or the ewe was just too exhausted, usually, but she needed help.
Distinguishing the difference in the two was tricky in the beginning, but with time and practice, it became easy to spot the births that were off, or not progressing as they should.
When I started having my own children, part of me wondered why something so natural was so medicalized. But it was what everyone was doing, so I followed suit. Later I learned there was a different more natural approach, and I was all for it. I just wanted the same space and respect I had given all the animals in my care.
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What is the biggest challenge in pregnancy? The weight gain? The mental games? The issues with body image? While all of those can be issues, they were in mine, it is not the biggest challenge. The biggest challenge for almost any pregnancy boils down to proper nutrition. Yep, that is it. Nutrition.
In the standard American diet (SAD) today, proper nutrition is really difficult to come by. Our food tends to be highly processed and void of key vitamins, minerals, and enzymes. Eating healthy takes on a very intentional lifestyle choice. When you are pregnant, that choice is even more difficult, but more important.
Quick easy to fill carbs are abundant and cheap, but protein, fresh fruits and vegetables are not. During pregnancy, your body needs extra protein. All the cells and DNA your baby is forming, requires amino acids, which comes from protein. Your body needs protein to build your own blood supply as your baby needs more blood. The vitamin and minerals from food are the most readily absorbed form for you to ingest. These are needed to help your body continue to function, stay healthy, and clear debris that builds up in your own system.
Eating a proper diet during pregnancy can also help prevent other complications like preeclampsia, PUPPS, gestational diabetes, and strengthen the uterus, reducing the risk of hemorrhaging. There are many other conditions a proper diet can prevent as well, I just haven't needed to look further yet.
So what can you do? No matter where you are, you can start choosing to eat healthy. I highly recommend sticking as close to a whole food diet as possible. This cuts many of the quick easy, but highly processed meals out. Sorry, Hamburger Helper. But the benefits quickly outweigh the convenience.
What are some good guidelines? The Brewer’s diet is huge and you can look up more on their website here. The simplified version I have made as a quick and easy to print off guide for you. It does come from their website, but saves you trying to print and format it for your fridge. You can get that guide for FREE here.
What diet changes are you making? Are you already following the Brewer’s Diet? How is it going? Let me know!
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What is a belief that grounds you? One that not only defines you, but governs your life decisions? Most of my core beliefs center around God and what He has said, about life.
I’ll share two of those with you. The first is that life is precious. God has a high value of human life. As you read through the Bible you can begin to see how many of the laws He set in place in the Old Testament center around the value of life. Some of these are consequences for ending life, some are consequences for harming another person. But they center around God guiding us on how to love and respect each other.
The second belief, I want to share with you, is one I have come to learn little by little in my own journey. God designed our bodies beautifully. They are intricately woven together and function beautifully. Sometimes things go wrong. We live in a fallen and sinful world. Our perfect design is now flawed by sin. However, God still designed the body to preserve and heal itself, if it is given what it needs.
Sometimes this is eliminating things from your life that are slowly poisoning or disrupting your body. Sometimes it is adding key nutrients in, to let the body rebuild. Sometimes it is using nature to simply rebalance the body, giving it what it needs to clean itself. Sometimes it is specific exercises or movements to help the body do what it is designed to do.
There are many different ways to promote the body and care for it. Most of the time it can be accomplished with things God already gave us in nature. The key, as it was for me, is learning how and what to use. And believe me it is a continuing learning process. That is why digging to the root cause is so important. Have I found all the WHYs? No, but I’m still digging and learning. Because for me, just letting something unnatural or not normal go, is not ok.
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Have you ever had a time when you had a heartfelt conversation with a friend that challenged your belief of something? I had that several years ago when a friend challenged me to look into the safety of products I had always believed to be safe. She had recently made a discovery that shocked her, but knew me well enough to know I needed to research on my own.
So what did I do? I started reading the book she recommended. Then started diving into numbers, research, safety studies, death rates, reaction rates, I looked at it all. I simply could not believe that a product that so many people used was not actually safe. How did it pass regulations?!?
What I found shocked me. The companies who made the products, weren’t even liable if there was a severe reaction or death from them. In 1986 all those companies were made legally exempt from liability, by congress! If a company isn’t liable for harm by their product, meaning they can’t be sued if harm occurs, how and why would they be guaranteed safe?
Then I started to compare the numbers. I looked at death rates prior to the product being released, and turned them into percentage (number of deaths in a year / US population that year). This made the number comparable across time. Then I looked at the reaction rates to the products once they were widely being used and turned them into the same percentage. You know what? The reaction rates were higher than the death rates on every one!
Knowing all of this I started to look into the safety testing of the products. They were only tested for less than a year usually before being marketed to the public! No wonder there were so many reactions.
So what can you do? Do your research. Do not be afraid to question anything. Take your time to make decisions and use google.scholar for the real hard studies, not google. I am no longer afraid to challenge my own thought process and try and prove my opinion correct using science. One of two things will happen. Either I solidify my position, or I change my mind.
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Have you ever read a book and thought ‘why have more people not read this!’? That was my thoughts when I read Ina May Gaskin’s book Guide to Childbirth.
Ina May founded the Farm Midwifery Center in 1971. She learned the art of midwifery the traditional way, but watching and attending births (direct entry midwifery). She is now one of the most famous midwives in America, lecturing students and doctors on traditional midwifery practices and maneuvers.
Her book, Guide to Childbirth, lays out what she has learned through 40 plus years of attending women and over 1200 births. She lays out the natural way birth is supposed to work and ways to work with and listen to your body to help birth along.
I love this book and am in the process of re-reading it because it is so good and I need to soak up the information again. The first half of the book is filled with birth stories, helping to take the fear out of birth. The second half outlines the labor process, with an appendix in the back highlighting a few studies and movements.
What I like most about Ina May is her ability to use natural methods in letting labor happen. She has seen the effect of interventions, and how quickly birth can turn south. She has also seen how beautiful birth is and how empowering it is for a woman when she is allowed to labor as she needs to, instead of laboring a specific way because she is required to.
Not only does she lay her years of experience out, but she has the science to back her up. Her years of experience have shown her what the women’s body is designed to do naturally. Slowly more and more studies are being published to support what many of the older midwives have always known. Most of the time, birth is best left alone.
Who is an author that has made you go wow?
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What is the biggest pitfall for a 1st time mom? You research everything for the child you're expecting, wanting to keep them as safe as possible. But do you research your pregnancy? What to expect, risks, and alternatives, to all the normal tests? Do you research how to prevent problems that could arise, especially if you are at risk?
Not many people do. I sure didn’t with my first two pregnancies. I followed the doctor, even when I sensed something was off or wrong. The doctor said it was ok and normal, so I went with it. And after miscarrying my first, I was going to do what the doctor said and take care of the second. What I didn’t know at the time was my ability to advocate for myself and insist on answers.
After having my daughter, I began to question everything. Why did a healthy pregnancy turn to emergency so suddenly? Why had no one believed me when I kept asking about the swelling before? Why had no one seen the early signs of preeclampsia? Why did no one have an answer to what causes preeclampsia? WHY?!?!?!
For a while I just let the whys sit. I had no intention of ever going through pregnancy again. Birth was traumatic and in normal human fashion, I was going to avoid that trauma if I could. Then God started to work on my heart and heal both my body and mind. A year and a half later, I agreed to God’s plan for healing and accepted that I would need to become pregnant again. Almost two years after my daughter was born, I was pregnant again.
This time I was going to research. This time I was going to find the answers before and evaluate everything. So I dug in. What I had found is that doctors are great resources for some things. They are good at reacting and saving lives. They have good intentions, but they do not have the time to research everything in their field. Now I research what pertains to me, so I can make the informed choice on every procedure.
One of my favorite resources for researching pregnancy and birth procedures is the book Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering, by Sarah J Buckley, MD. She does an excellent job laying out every procedure, the positives, the risks, and the alternatives. While I looked at several other sources as well, this book did the best job bringing it all together in a concise manner.
Get a book, and start researching. Be a partner in your pregnancy and birth, not just a participant like I was the first two times.
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What is something that truly frustrates you? The one thing that no matter what the situation, gets under your skin? I have always been an analyzer. I was also taught that for every situation, there is another side, you may not know until you dig or ask. As I have grown older, I have carried these habits with me.
It bothered me in high school, and it bothers me today. When people see one side of the picture, instead of looking at all sides of an issue. This can be a simple argument, or a huge political issue. Looking at both sides of the picture can shift your perspective greatly, in either case, or anywhere in between. The trick comes in learning to filter through your own paradigm.
What is a paradigm? According to vocabulary.com,
“A paradigm is a standard, perspective, or set of ideas. A paradigm is a way of looking at something. The word paradigm comes up a lot in the academic, scientific, and business worlds. ... When you change paradigms, you're changing how you think about something.
Each of us has a different paradigm based on how we were raised and our life experiences. If you do not keep an open mind, be willing to ask questions and truly listen, to gain understanding of their opinion, you will only stay in the same argument state. By having open conversations, where you are willing to let your perspective be challenged, you gain insight and understanding. Your opinion may not change, but your heart will be able to understand where the other side is standing. Why they believe what they do.
In the past 5 years, I have allowed my paradigm to be challenged and changed over and over. In conversations with friends and other people, I have allowed my thoughts on medicine, food, and health be challenged. After many of those conversations, I usually dug into more research on my own. That is what I do. I want the whole story, I want the science. After those research digs, my perspective and opinion changed at least a little. All because I was willing to be open and dig more. I was willing to see the other side of an opinion.
Where have your paradigms been challenged recently?
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If you would talk to most birth professionals, especially if you live in the state of Nebraska or Arkansas, they will tell you it is a risky thing and needs to be handled in a hospital. The truth is most of the time birth is safe and natural. Yes there are risks. Yes things can go wrong, but for the majority of women, birth is a low risk, natural process.
Many times when we start messing with the natural process that is when we see issues. We see this a lot in animals. If you will allow me to use them as an example. Animals go where they feel comfortable and safe. They know that they are at their most vulnerable point during birth and they find a place they can be safe. If that spot is disrupted, by say a predator or human, oftentimes the birth process will stall or halt all together.
Why do we think as humans we are so different when it comes to the birth process? There are so many parts to birth and each step triggers the next. Even professionals don’t completely understand the hormonal intricacies of the process and how all the loops work together. We know the baby communicates with the mother’s body as to what is needed and when something is too much, but we don’t completely understand how that all works.
What we do know is that if one step is disrupted, the others compensate. In the medical setting when outside forces are injected into the process to force things along, we start to see issues. There is no natural feedback loop telling the machine to lower the dose, ease up, and the baby needs more time. This is where things can become dicey and external monitoring is needed.
It wasn’t until the mid 20th century that birth became a hospital procedure. Prior to that midwives attended the mothers in the comfort of their own homes and assisted if needed. In the 20th century the introduction of narcotics and anesthesia during birth were introduced, and thus birth moved to the hospital.
What happens if instead a mother does what an animal would do? Instead of going to the hospital where there are unfamiliar noises, disruptions, monitoring, what if she stayed home? Like women did many years ago? Chances are most births would be just fine. Labor would progress as it should and everything would be much more peaceful. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad there are hospitals near for the incase emergencies that do happen. But truth be told, that should be the hospitals roll. Emergency life saving care, not necessarily the normal uncomplicated birth.
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We have all heard about priorities right? Why are they so important?
It goes back to life balance. When our priorities are out of alignment, our focus is on things that are not helping us with our balance, but possibly even contributing to the unbalance. Take some time this week to evaluate your priorities. Do your actions reflect what you say your priorities are?
I have found it is easy for me to say my priorities are first- God, second- family, third- fun, fourth- business. But do my actions actually reflect that order? Am I daily spending time with God? Am I really putting my family before my work in time spent? I challenge you to be honest with yourself here.
Write down your priorities, number them. Then go through your day. Is your time reflecting those priorities? This is very difficult if you are a working parent. I’ve been there and the guilt is real. Give yourself grace. Look at the time at home, what is that showing you? Go through your expenses, what categories do they fall in? Are they lining up with your priorities, or are they off balance?
Going through my day, I don’t always make the quiet time to read and connect to God like I used to. In 2020, I became better at confining work to specific hours, but I still tend to ignore my kids. This year I am scheduling play time with them (I realize I have no idea how to play with them). When we are working around the house, which happens a lot in the summer, am I including them? Or just trying to get the task done?
Fun? That doesn’t happen much, if I’m honest. I tend to put everything else ahead of fun. Is my work done? No, then you can’t do x,y,z. Truth is I need to make time for fun, even if the work isn’t done yet. Fun is part of life balance and if you are withholding fun, you are out of balance.
Where are your priorities lining up.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Get the Naturally Healthy Birth Course here:
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Get the Healing from Birth Trauma Course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/recovery-from-traumatic-birth
Get the preventing Preeclampsia course here:
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My first birth I went the traditional Nebraskan route. I had an OBGYN, was induced, had an emergency C-section. When I decided I wanted a different route for my second, I was told I could only birth in the hospital, because of my past C-section. Not even considering the cause or why I was induced in the first place (boiled down to poor eating habits that I didn’t know any better until later).
Hospital birth was not an option for me. Just going through a tour of the Labor and Delivery ward set me into an anxiety attack (I had only had 1 other attack in my 26 years on this earth). The only birth center in Nebraska wouldn’t accept me. So what did I do? I defied the doctors and birthed at home. I was fortunate to find a lay midwife who was willing to help me and I am glad she was there. She was wise enough to let me be, but knew when she needed to step in and help.
Unfortunately many women are not that lucky. It is becoming more difficult to find midwives willing to risk their career, and sometimes lives, to help women birth at home. Leaving many women with the option of hospital, or going solo at home. The argument is always birth is safer in the hospitals! But the date really shows otherwise (that's a topic for another day). Why are women not able to choose who and how they give birth?
Much of it revolves around policy, laws, and unfortunately the dollar. When birth moved to the hospital in the 20th century, it did not take long for hospital boards to realize how much money can be made in birth. As of December 2019, the Business Insider found that the average cost to have a child in the United states was $10,808 without complications during delivery. If you factor in the care provided before and after, it can increase to $30,000. No wonder hospital boards want women in the hospital care system for birth! They have enough pressure and pull between them and insurance companies to sway the political politics governing health care, and birth workers.
So what can you do? Look up the laws in your state. In Nebraska, home birth itself is not illegal. Having a certified medical practitioner there is. Talk to you state representatives, tell them how you feel and bring them data on how birth is safe at home.
Wanting a community to lean into? Join the FREE Courageous + Purposeful Mommas group! This community is for the Mommas, mommas to be, in the midst of raising, and kids grown, looking for tips on building your family up and providing for them through natural methods. Tips include: gardening, bulk buying, caning,/preserving, livestock, homesteading, and home remedies. Your family is precious, and this group is to help you gain the knowledge and tools to keep your family well and not reliant on outside professionals. Remedies and tips are easy and simple for the busy momma, time is precious after all, including pregnancy, birth, young kids, and illness. Trust your Momma gut again! This community offers the resources + community you need to help get started on your journey and prepare for whatever future you envision.
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Get the Naturally Healthy Birth Course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/naturally-healthy-birth
Get the Healing from Birth Trauma Course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/recovery-from-traumatic-birth
Get the preventing Preeclampsia course here:
https://getoiling.com/CassandraRow/landing/preventing-preeclampsia